A Dwarfish Odyssey
by HitchcockPython
Summary: What happened to the dwarves after Snow White left?  A lot of adventures that's for sure.:
1. Chapter 1

**A Dwarfish Odyssey**

**By**

**Sophia Demetri**

** Twice upon a time, Snow White had just been awakened by love's first kiss and was now riding off to her new life with her new husband, Prince Ferdinand. The seven dwarves watched with both joy and sorrow as they watched the fair princess and spouse disappear into the horizon. Yes sir, it would now be happily ever after from here on out right? Wrong!**

**Yes Snow White was very much living happily ever after, but what about her seven little comrades? Sadly, things did not look to well in the dwarves neck of the woods. Now that they were no longer on coffin duty, they had to return to their lives without their beautiful housekeeper. When they returned to their home, it was like the plague had hit it. The house was now infested with a variety of vermin and enough dust and cobwebs to make one think that it was haunted. "Let's go check on the mines. HI HO!" said Doc, the leader of the dwarves. "HI HO!" replied his companions, and they all went, as the song says,"off to work."**

**When they got to the mines they couldn't get in. Why? Because after an extensively long period of abandonment, the mines were now more dangerous than Haiti after the earthquake! Now the dwarves were truly in a pickle, with no home and no occupation. "Well at least it's not raining!" Happy said. Then just as he said that a thunderstorm broke above their heads. "Sure, it's not." Grumpy said sarcastically. **

**The next morning, all the dwarves went into the town to go job hunting. This would not be an easy task, but they had to do it. "Alright men, let's go to work!" Doc commanded. So all the dwarves tried out their skills in the real world, but as luck would have it, their new occupations all ended in disaster. **

**Doc tried working in a bookshop, but kept getting all the books mixed up. Happy tried being a chef, but had trouble with "the catch of the day." Bashful signed up to judge beauty pageants, but was fired because the other judges thought that he was crushing on all the contestants. Sneezy tried his hand at selling flowers, but his hay fever drove away any and all potential customers. Sleepy became a sailor, and the job ended with him falling asleep at the wheel, and nearly causing the demise of the entire crew. Grumpy was a villain's henchman, but was then fired for calling his boss a rat. Finally, Dopey tried to be a sorcerer's apprentice, but lost the post to a mouse. In the end, they all wound up with zero dinero and had to search the garbage outside of a pub for dinner. **

** While they searched for an adequate meal, they heard a voice from behind ask them: "Have you by any chance come across any beans in that dumpster?" The dwarves turned around to discover an old man and his pet owl standing behind them. "Who are you?" the dwarves asked him. "My name is Merlin, and this is my assistant Archimedes." he said addressing his owl. "Hmph. You need all the assistance you can get." said the owl. "Oh, come off it." the wizard responded. "But you do! You even need assistance in your powers." "My powers are perfectly fine." "If they were 'perfectly fine' you wouldn't have blown up the house and gambled all of our money away during that horse race." "Oh come now **_**you **_**even agreed that 'Hellfire' sounded promising!" "That doesn't change the fact that it lost to a horse called 'Worthless!'" "Come on, who in their right mind names a decent horse 'Worthless!'" "WELL AT LEAST HE DIDN'T RUN BACKWARDS LIKE 'HELLFIRE'" **

** "WILL YOU TWO SHUT UP?" Grumpy screamed at the two. "Now will you**_** please**_** tell us how to get this assistance that you're talking about?" "Oh yes, of course, of course the assistance! How could I forget?" Merlin exclaimed. "You can't even remember what you ate for breakfast this morning you old fool!" Archimedes sassed. "You be quiet! Now, on with the assistance." The old wizard cleared his throat. "Now let's see…hmm…let me check my bag. No, no, ah, here it is!" "Here what is?" Happy asked. "Why a map to the gold mines of the Northern Kingdom! According to my studies (and by the looks of you lot) the seven of you are miners looking for work, and what better way to get a new job than by simply getting the same one in a different area?" "It's a lot better than searchin' this dump for food." Grumpy grumpily stated. "If it's food you want you can have our sausages! There's enough for all of you! I was just hoping for some free beans to go with them." Merlin said. "You can't give away our dinner!" Archimedes exclaimed rather loudly. "We had to work in the kitchen all day to get those and now you're giving them to total strangers!" "Oh come off it now!" Merlin snapped. "We'll get some more food!" "Yes, from a dumpster!" Archimedes retaliated.**

** "Now don't mind him, he's just gets a little grumpy when he's hungry." Merlin said to the dwarves. "Then Grumpy must be hungry all the time!" Happy joked. This joke sent laughter among the whole group (except for Grumpy and Archimedes of course). **

**After they all had a good laugh, Merlin gave the dwarves a map and food and sent them on their way. Then as the dwarves began their journey towards their version of the American dream they ended up changing their song so that it sounded a little something like this:**

_**Hi ho, hi ho, to find a job we go **_

_**(whistling)**_

_**(Repeat)**_

**This new song ended up catching the attention of a small weasel named Fred. While running an errand near the dumpsters, he caught wind of this new song, realizing that this could be of great importance to his roomie; Corpsegrinder. "I must go and tell Corpsegrinder of this at once!" The weasel said to himself. "He will be so happy and pleased!" Then the young weasel went straightaway to go and tell his roommate just exactly what was going on with the dwarves.**

_**To be continued…**_

_**Disney films referenced**_

_**Snow White and the Seven Dwarves(obviously), Beauty and the Beast, The Little **_

_**Mermaid parts (1&3), The Great Mouse Detective, Fantasia, and The Sword in the **_

_**Stone**_

_**References to Metal**_

_**The character Corpsegrinder is named for **__**Cannibal Corpse**__** frontman: George **_

"_**Corpsegrinder" Fisher.**_


	2. Chapter 2

**A Dwarfish Odyssey**

**Part 2**

**By**

**Sophia Demetri**

** In his cave in a forbidden wood by a creepy mountain range, Corpsegrinder awoke to the hideous sound of Fred the weasel approaching the cave. "CORPSEGRINDER! CORPSEGRINDER! CORPSEGRINDER!" the weasel screamed in the distance. "CORPSEGRINDER I'M HOME!" "Oh gnomes dung!" Corpsegrinder said. "My evening migraine has arrived." **

** Almost immediately after saying that, Fred burst into the cave with dinner for his friend. "Did you find the meat on the rack or on the side of the road?" Corpsegrinder asked the weasel. "I bought this in the village Corpsegrinder!" The excited weasel exclaimed. "The butcher said it's best made on a rotisserie spit." "All the more reason for me to breathe." His friend responded. With that Corpsegrinder lifted his head and roasted the meat with his own fiery breath. By the way Corpsegrinder is a really huge, Godzilla-sized, fire-breathing DRAGON. **

** After dinner, (and a few flame belches) the two started a conversation. "By the way Fred, I haven't heard you speak about the seven midget home wreckers in a couple of weeks. Are they still alive?" the dragon asked him curiously. "MIDGET HOME WRECKERS! WHERE?" Fred screamed. "YOU IDIOT!" The dragon yelled back. "I was talking about the seven DWARVES!" "Oh, yes the dwarves!" Fred said. "They quit watching the princess's coffin last Tuesday." "The dead princess is unattended?" the big dragon exclaimed. "HALLELUIAH! FREE FOOD! Fred go get a sack and bag me a princess for dinner!" Corpsegrinder screamed flying up to the cavern ceiling. "Actually she was awakened by love's first kiss and is currently living happily ever after." Fred confessed happily. The big dragon sank back down to the cavern floor crushing a few stalagmites. "Witch teats!" he cursed. " I was going to stuff her with apples and sausage!"**

** "Look on the bright side friend. The seven dwarves don't live around here anymore. They're moving to another kingdom to get new mining jobs." Fred told his friend. "THEY'RE WHAT?" Corpsegrinder erupted. "They're moving away. Aren't you happy?" "I will never be happy until I have my revenge!" "Are you going to tell the story again? Please! Please! PLEASE tell the story again!" The weasel begged anxiously. "If it will appease your annoying heart I will tell the story for the five millionth time." The dragon said sarcastically. **

"_**Thirty-five years ago, (when I was younger and thinner) the mines that the dwarves worked in used to be my cave. I was the only dragon to ever truly have his own treasure without pillaging it. My cave handed it to me the day I moved in. Then came that horrible day when THEY came to my territory. I woke up with the sun shining on my face, WHEN I HEARD THE HORRIBLE SOUND OF DEVELOPMENT! The next moment, I was feeling burning sensations in various parts of my body! The blistering inferno had come to my cave! I fought to get out of that awful minefield running through TNT and smoke clouds until I finally escaped. I flew west until my strength gave out, and then all went black. When I woke up, I was immobilized. I lay there for ten years, and then you came along."**_

"**Then I took you in and hid you in this cave, and you still have yet to recover!" Fred said. "**_**Au contraire **_**my fellow carnivore. After**__**all these years I feel that I am more than ready to try out my wings again. Then I'll have horrible vengeance on **_**them**_**. Come on Fred we're going on a trip." Corpsegrinder said struggling to rise. "YAY! AN ADVENTURE! GIVE ME A HUG!" "No I'm fine, I'm…ahh." Of all the things that Corpsegrinder hated, hugs from Fred had the box office crown. After five minutes of hugging Corpsegrinder asked the weasel, "Are you ready to go now?" "Oh, yes, ready to fly Captain!" he said climbing onto the dragon's back. The next thing they knew they were higher than a drug addict! Then Corpsegrinder's wings cramped up. "Maybe you should have stretched them first?" Fred said after the dramatic crash landing. "From now on I don't want to hear another word from you unless I ask for it." **

_**To be continued…**_


	3. Chapter 3

**A Dwarfish Odyssey**

**Part 3**

**by**

**Sophia Demetri**

** The dwarves traveled for three long seasons. They had started their journey in the spring, and now it was the middle of winter. During the course of this trip, the dwarves had come across multiple dangers. From being hunted by The Dragon Corpsegrinder (whom they had no idea was hunting them) to being chased by the horrible beasts that were not Corpsegrinder, to finally being in danger nearly every 3-4 days. Now, they had just reached a snow covered meadow with no civilization in site. **

** "Admit it you nincompoop; we're hopelessly LOST!" Grumpy screamed at Doc. "We are pabsolutely, absitively…I mean babsi…AAH! Absolutely, positively, not at all lost." Doc said with confidence. "You said that when we went inside the volcano!" Grumpy said frustrated. "Y-you know, he does kind of have a point." Bashful commented. "You have gotten us lost fifteen times during this trip," Happy pointed out. "I don't care!" Doc said with much authority. "We are not…uh." "LOST!" shouted the freezing dwarves. "Right, that word." Doc said sheepishly. **

** The dwarves, still unable to convince Doc that he had screwed them over once more continued the journey. Alas, they were so lost they ended up going in circles. "I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!" Grumpy shouted to the group. "WE'RE GOING IN CIRCLES, WE HAVN'T EATEN IN THREE DAYS, AND WE STILL HAVE YET TO USE THE RIFLE THAT WE GOT FROM LEFOU AT THE VILLAGE!" "SHH" Sneezy shushed. "What are you shushing me for?" Grumpy asked. **_**"Over there!" **_**he whispered. Far off in the distance were a young doe and her fawn eating a small patch of grass that had succeeded in growing in the frigid temperatures. **_**"Holy smokes! It's FOOD**_**!" Grumpy whispered loudly. Unfortunately the mother deer's hearing was sensitive enough to detect Grumpy's loud whispering and she spotted the dwarves instantly. This led both parties to spring into action! Sneezy aimed the rifle, but the cold made him sneeze so that he missed the shot! "OH FOR THE LOVE OF PIXIES!" Grumpy yelled grabbing the rifle. With limited time on his hands Grumpy aimed the rifle at his escaping prey and shot a bullseye at the doe!**

** That evening the dwarves had the best dinner they'd had since Snow White was their cook. During this time, a blind bobcat wandered near their fire and got scorched. Dopey took pity on the disabled creature and put snow on her paws. He then gave her some of his venison and even sacrificed one of their blankets for her. At first the dwarves wondered why Dopey was so kind to this "thing" that interrupted their feasting, but the event that followed made them glad that he did.**

** No sooner had Dopey wrapped up the feline, than it began to give off an ethereal glow, and rise up into the air. Then, of all the insane and wondrous things, the bobcat transformed, and took on the form of a fair enchantress. "I see your simple friend is the only one with a heart kind enough to reach out to an unfortunate being." she said with a hallowed voice. The dwarves, astonished by this being removed their hats in high esteem. "At ease dear little people." She responded. "I have respect for you as well." "Well t-thank you, your, your highness." Doc stuttered. "Don't hurt yourself with exotic greetings. Though they are greatly appreciated. Since your friend has displayed for me through his kindness your own kind hearts, and due to the fact that he would be devastated if I put a curse on the rest of you, I bestow upon you all, **_**a gift**_**." "What sort of a gift fair maiden?" Bashful asked her. "I give you the gift of knowledge." She said. "Note that this knowledge cannot be found in books, but in those who know. You dwarves have unconsciously committed a horrible act. Due to the result of this act, someone was damaged in both body and spirit. Now he seeks vengeance and will stop at nothing to get revenge. So be on your guard, dear little people, you have no idea what horrible dangers lie ahead." **

** "Dangers? What are you talking about who did we hurt? Was it because of the deer?" Doc asked her desperately. "The deer's death was not the terrible act; however you could have chosen a less **_**motherly target**_**. I would give you more information on the details of your crime, but I am forbidden to do so. My time here is growing short, I couldn't help but notice that you dwarves have gotten lost. Therefore, I bestow upon you, Doc, this compass that points you to your desired destination. When the object has served its purpose you must throw it into the ocean. So speaks the Enchantress!" Saying this, she disappeared in a beam of light.**

** "What do you suppose she meant by that?" Happy asked the group. "I don't know" said Doc. "But I think we'd best follow her orders." The dwarves all agreed to just that. Hey, you would too if someone like that told you that you have someone seeking revenge on revenge on you for heaven-knows-what. **


	4. Chapter 4

**A Dwarfish Odyssey**

**Part 4**

**by **

**Sophia Demetri**

** Springtime had finally arrived, AND THE DWARVES WERE STILL FAR FROM THEIR DESTINATION! Even with that stupid compass Doc **_**still**_** somehow managed to get them all lost TWENTY-THREE TIMES IN A ROW! The dwarves were just about to give up when they met yet another sorceress named Tia Dalma who took them in. "I will get you where you need to go" the witch told the seven dwarves slyly. "If you give me something in return." Having nothing left but the compass and the shirts off their backs, the dwarves gave up the compass (which would in time be given to Captain Jack Sparrow) and Tia Dalma sent them on a rotting rowboat which navigated itself all the way to the kingdom.**

** After a month at sea, Happy shouted "LAND HO!" Just ahead was the kingdom of Prydian, in all its shining glory. When the dwarves arrived they were greeted by the sounds of revelry. The whole kingdom was partying harder than the hobbits at Bilbo Baggin's birthday party. The dwarves got off their boat and went to join the festivities. **

** It was almost sunset when all the festivities were stopped by a fanfare similar to that in "The Floor Show" in Rocky Horror. An announcer went up to an elaborate stage and then announced to the crowds; "PRESENTING THEIR ROYAL HIGHNESSES, HIGH KING TARAN AND HIGH QUEEN EILOWNY!" And they all cheered and applauded as the king and queen walked downstage. The king then raised his hand for silence. **

** "People of Prydian," he began. "I would like to thank you all for attending our celebration honoring our twenty years of peace since the defeat of the war-lord Arawn. As we rejoice this day, we must take the time to remember why we celebrate this day. Before our time of peace, the people of this kingdom suffered under the reign of Arawn and other cruel tyrants before him. We remember these figures not to strike fear into one's heart, but to prevent future diabolical fiends from taking their place and destroying the peace that we hold dear. Freedom is never free. This is why we continue to train our warriors, and teach our children what it truly means to be a patriot." **

** After the blessing of the feast, everyone rushed to the buffet tables hoping to get the best cuts first. Shortly after the food, the true partying resumed. Everyone danced, ate like swines, danced till they dropped, and most of all, got drunk off their rears. It was perhaps the greatest celebration ever celebrated by man or dwarf. **

** Unfortunately, with every great party there is always one that will end up ruining everyone's fun. For just as the kingdom's best actors were preparing to perform a reenactment of the kingdom's liberation, a giant fireball landed in the middle of the crowd! Everyone went into a state of mass hysteria. Three more fireballs followed! The king then looked up at the sky trying to find the cause of this barrage of flames. "SURRENDER THE DWARVES OR DIE!" screamed a very loud, very DRAGON-LIKE voice. "Die dwarves die!" Fred screamed following his companion. "You stay out of this, this is my battle!" Corpsegrinder barked at the weasel. "Alright, you didn't have to use that tone though." "What?" "Nothing." The weasel said.**

** The king took immediate action. "FIRE THE CATAPULTS!" he ordered. Flaming barrels were hurled at the enormous reptile. Having experience from past attacks Corpsegrinder dodged every last one with skill that would make Mario cry in his pasta! "FIRE CROSSBOWS!" The king shouted. Corpsegrinder burned these to a crisp. After multiple attacks Corpsegrinder had had it. "ENOUGH OF YOUR PETTY ATTACKS SURRENDER THE DWARVES!" he screamed. Saying this, Corpsegrinder swooped down and landed in front of the quivering dwarves laughing derisively. "Well aren't you adorable? Seven little men about to meet their respective demises." "I thought you didn't like them." Fred said. "Shut it weasel!" Corpsegrinder barked at him. "You're not on my good side either! You've been a pain in my hide since the day you saved me. You want to help me? Then GET OUT OF MY LIFE! And when I say 'respective' I mean individual." With this the weasel said nothing, he just submissively slid down the dragon's back and walked into the crowd. **

** "Now you dwarves, remember me?" Corpsegrinder said with a toothy smile. "We don't even know you." Grumpy said. "Well then I'll give you a few clues to help you remember. First Clue: Your mines, MY HOME! Second Clue: EXPLOSIVES! Third Clue…"and he let out a series of screams and profanities that you wouldn't even hear on cable. "All resulting in these tell-tale scorch marks!" Grumpy began snickering. "WHAT!" Corpsegrinder screamed. "You came all this way just because you got SCORCHED! What a baby." The dwarves began laughing. "I think you forgot my first clue, YOU GUYS BLEW UP MY HOME! Now if his majesty permits, I would like to you formally execute you for your crimes. Meet me at the coliseum tomorrow, or your new home will suffer the fate of my old one." **

_**To be continued…**_


	5. Chapter 5

**A Dwarfish Odyssey**

**Part 5**

**by**

**Sophia Demetri**

**The cottage that the king allowed the dwarves to stay in was actually one of the best places to stay if you weren't royalty, but the previous night it was the equivalent of sleeping in a prison cell. Thanks to Corpsegrinder's threat to ravage the kingdom, poor King Taran had no other choice, but to give the really huge, Godzilla-sized, fire-breathing threat to the kingdom exactly what he wanted. Now, within four hours the dwarves were to leave the cottage to go to the Coliseum and be killed by a dragon. The dwarves sat around the dinner table with beer mugs hoping to at least enjoy their last few hours before their executions. **

"**Well men, I guess this is it." Doc said to his brothers. "In just a few more hours that dragon will get what he's been wantin' for all those years." "Of all the ways for us to go, it had to be under that monster's fiery claws." Happy replied, and not to happily I might add. "I would've rather…gone in my sleep." said Sleepy. "I would've rather gone in a field of flowers." said Sneezy. "I'll agree with you on that." Bashful said. "You know what I'd like to do before we go?" Dopey asked his brothers.**

**The dwarves were struck dumb. Dopey had never said a word in his life, but now in their darkest hour he finally said something! "Well do ya?" Dopey questioned them again. "What do ya wanna do?" Grumpy asked awestruck. "I'd really like to see Snow White one last time." Dopey told them all, and the dwarves all agreed with him. In a time like this the last thing they would truly want to see was their beautiful Princess Snow White. The nicest most beautiful girl they had ever met. Then their fantasizing about the Princess was cut by a knock on the door. Doc opened the door to reveal some of King Taran's guards. "It's time to go to the Coliseum." the head guard said. **

**At the Coliseum, the dwarves were chained together to prevent escape. They waited behind the iron gates for their time of judgement. "Men, it's been a pleasure serving with you." Doc said to them all. "Amen." the others said in unison. "Wait a minute boys, this may not be our last day after all." Grumpy said slyly. The gates were then opened and the dwarves were brought into the arena. Everyone in the kingdom even the old man who never left his house had come to watch the dwarves get slain by something that is typically slain in a fairy tale. **

"**For the sake of our kingdom," The head guard stated before the crowd, "the seven dwarves shall be sentenced to death, by a dragon. Now my people, sit back, relax, AND WATCH SOME VIOLENCE!" The crowd roared. When this had ceased, Corpsegrinder appeared in the sky and entered the arena. Then he began to reap his horrible vengeance. **

**Now as you probably remember, Grumpy had a plan back at the gates. So when old Corpsegrinder tried to incinerate the dwarves, they all jumped in unison away from the oncoming fireball. This baffled the dragon, but he continued to attack. Eventually though the dwarves could no longer dodge the mighty beasts attacks and Corpsegrinder ended up trapping them behind a wall of fire. "You actually thought you could escape me? ME! The very image of death itself! Any last words MIDGETS?" " Yes." Dopey said. "Go on." "COW!" Dopey yelled. Corpsegrinder didn't know what the dwarf meant by this, but he figured it out when a cow came flying into the arena and hit him on the face. "SUCCUBUS BREASTS!" he screamed. (Many mothers covered their children's ears.)**

"**Cursing won't help you here old friend!" said a familiar voice. It was Fred standing atop a catapult wearing a weasel sized guard's helmet. "I've got cows and I'm not afraid to use 'em!" "You son of a rat!" Corpsegrinder yelled at the weasel. "How could you betray me?" "I'd ask you the same thing BEST FRIEND! But seeing as you are not, I will have vengeance of my own!" Fred stood up. "So be it." the dragon said preparing to attack. **

**Now the battle had changed. Forget the dwarves it was now Weasel vs. Dragon! Now how the weasel got all his artillery we'll never know, but I will tell you that in the course of the battle the dwarves were freed and joined Fred in his battle with his former best friend. After five hours of brutal onslaught, Corpsegrinder could not even stand up. The enemy weakened, Fred gave Grumpy the honor of killing Corpsegrinder. Grumpy then took out his pickaxe (which never left home without) and prepared to kill the dragon. **

**Then, out of nowhere Grumpy was struck to the ground by a cloaked figure. "Don't lay a hand on him!" the person screamed. The spectators gasped at what had happened. "Who are you?" King Taran shouted to the figure from his seat. The figure said nothing, but removed it's cloak revealing an eighteen year old palace servant girl. "DRYSI!" Queen Eilonwy screamed. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING!" "I'm stopping this creature's death." Drysi said to her mistress. Then she turned to the kingdom. "You all came out to see the dragon didn't you? Well I don't remember anyone saying anything about killing him in this event. Yes, I am very well aware of what he's doing to the dwarves despite the fact that according to some it's his fault for not moving away in time. I am also aware of what he planned to do to us if he didn't kill the dwarves! Which is why I am giving him another punishment, one far worse than death." Shortly after saying this, she removed from a large burlap sack, what looked like a gold collar with a black stone swirled with white in the center. She placed this accessory around the dragon's neck, and then she addressed the crowd. "I have given Corpsegrinder the Dragonrider's collar. From this day forward he will be under my command unless I free him otherwise." "How then do you intend to keep this creature in your own position of servitude?" the king asked. "I thought that over myself, which is why I believe it is best you exile us from the kingdom." The king had a brief conversation with his wife and then addressed the crowd. "For the good of our kingdom, Drysi and Corpsegrinder, will be banished from our kingdom. Effective immediately." "I thank you your majesty." Drysi said to her king. Then she commanded Corpsegrinder to take the two of them as far away as possible. Using his remaining wing power he got them at least 100 feet away from the kingdom. Once they left the kingdom then returned to the previous night's celebrating. During the festivities, the king and queen approached the dwarves. "I believe you seven wanted some jobs." The king smiled.**

**A week later the seven dwarves worked in the mines again, only this time in a new home, The Kingdom of Prydian. With Fred's help the dwarves got rich fashioning their jewels into magnificent jewelry designed by Fred himself. Yes, the dwarves (and Fred) lived almost as good as the king himself, but the best part of their new life was always telling (and retelling) to their customers the tale of their "Dwarfish Oddysey." **


	6. Epilogue

**A Dwarfish Odyssey **

**Epilogue**

**by**

**Sophia Demetri**

_**This part is narrated by Corpsegrinder**_

**It's been nearly a year since my enslavement, yet now it doesn't feel like that so much. At first Drysi was a thorn in my side, but overtime I've a seen a different side to her. I know she's supposed to be an adult human, but more often than not, Drysi's behavior is like that of a baby dragon! For example, whenever we go anywhere we**_** always**_** need to stop for something. Sometimes it's food, others times it's because she's tired, but the thing that we stop the most for, is for her to go make water. I hate having to stop for that! It's the humans fault for not learning how to pee in the air! Another thing would be the fact that she likes to be near me when she's sleeping. One night when it was raining and I told her to go sleep in a nearby cave while I slept outside (the rain is like taking a shower for me). Two hours later she wakes me up asking to sleep near me. I reminded her of the obvious downpour but that wasn't enough to convince her otherwise. I ended up turning my wings into a tent for my mistress that night (it was quite humiliating). The last thing that makes her THE MOST like a baby dragon is the fact that she gets herself into all the most bizarre and dangerous of situations! Not a day goes by where I don't have to save her from either herself or the things around her. I tend to wonder if that's the reason she saved my life and enslaved me to begin with. **

**Anyhow, Drysi and I have been traveling everywhere for reasons I know not of. Drysi claims that we are living life to its fullest, **_**I **_**for one think she just doesn't want to settle down. Yet, why would a human not want to do that? I'm not going to ask and I don't want to know. **

**Recently, however, we did end up settling down, but only because we had to. Three days ago Drysi fell ill and couldn't travel. The poor human had a horrible fever and would sweat profusely. Sometimes at night she would cry out to me fearing that I had abandoned her. I didn't understand why she needed me that badly though. That is, until last night.**

**Last night, I woke up after accidentally hitting my head against the walls of our new cave. When I gained my senses back I noticed that Drysi wasn't in her usual spot. I looked all over the cave and couldn't find her. **_**"Maybe she's abandoned me." **_**I thought to myself. At first I thought this meant I was free, but when I realized she hadn't removed my collar I ran outside in a rage when I found her on a rock staring at the sky. **

"**Oh! Corpsegrinder, what are you doing awake?" she asked realizing my prescence. "I hit my head on the wall." I told her. "Why are **_**you**_** awake, are you trying to get sicker?" "No, I just needed to think things over." "What's there to think over?" I asked. She didn't answer me. "Well?" "Corpsegrinder can I talk to you?" "Make it fast you need to sleep." "Do you think I did the right thing, you know, by saving your life?" "Saved my life, you destroyed my dignity." "Exactly." she said. "So your intent was to humiliate me." I responded. "Not exactly." "Then what was your intent?" "To find myself."**

**Apparently, back when my species was more populous, Drysi's ancestors were Dragonriders. Years later, when my species began to either dwindle or migrate the Dragonrider occupation was no longer practical (Bit of a shame though, we were great in the wars). Meanwhile, when Drysi appeared to have no other occupation than attendant to Queen Eilonwy, she hoped to one day find a dragon with hopes of a much more **_**exciting **_**life, and as luck would have it, I was the first dragon to show up.**

"**Would you say you got what you wanted?" I asked. "Actually, I think I did." she answered. "It could still be worse." I told her. "Not when you're around." she said smiling. "Okay now you just want me to vomit." She laughed at me when I said that. I didn't see what so funny about that, especially in regards to dragon vomit.**

**At this point I myself couldn't stand to be awake much longer and Drysi herself found it obvious. We returned to the cave where she fell asleep next to me. I'll cut her some slack because she's sick, but the next time she does that she will be missing an appendage in the morning.**

**THE END**


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